Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Name of the Week: Syracuse Edition.

Earlier I said I'd be doing two polls every week. One of them is, as noted, just a simple "who will win on Saturday" poll.

The other is something that I had a sense you guys were liking in my team preview posts(although maybe I was wrong): my ongoing quest to find the best name on the football team of each college we play. So that we have somebody to look for in a sea of players we don't know. Because last week, Lorenzo Seaberry recorded a tackle, and rather than be angry that Stephen Simmons had just been stopped from getting a few more yards, I thought to myself "well, I guess it sucks that Steph got tackled, but if somebody had to do it, I'm glad it was Lorenzo Seaberry III, owner of the second-best name on the Eastern Michigan defense."


So I'll list the nominees, and pick my choice for name of the week, but it's up to you guys to decide who will win the week, and who will end up on the year-ending ballot where the 12 (or 13!) best names we faced off against this season fight for the honor of having the official Purple Drank best name of the year. (I've planned this out, you see. There'll be a trophy presentation or something.)

And yes, I know there's already a Name of the Year blog, which is hilarious, but I feel this serves its own distinct and wonderful purpose for my blog, and therefore don't consider this to be a rip-off, rather, a repurposing of a great idea other people already had. (although tell me in the comments if you disagree.)
So, here it goes: name of the week, Syracuse Orange edition. The poll will be up starting now and will come down friday morning, so, rock the vote. Remember, I'm looking for the best name, not necessarily the funniest, so interpret that as you will.
There are four candidates this week:

CB Shamarko Thomas, #43: Not a particularly great name - he's got a flashy first name, coupled with an unspectacular last name, which rarely works, unless the name is way over the top in a D'Brickashaw Ferguson manner. I'm not a fan, but the name needed mentioning. Thomas, a true freshman, probably won't see the field on saturday, and, in an NU connection, was a teammate of Wildcat freshmen Josh Plasencia and Brian Smith at the IFAF Junior World Cup.


WR Van Chew, #82: Short and to the point, neither of Chew's names are actual names. Van is a type of car, and occasionally comes up as an awesome first name (see: Morrison, Wilder), and Chew is something you do to food before digesting it. His full name is Vanzago, which sounds like a type of cheese. 
On the field, Chew is a sophomore wide receiver who played as a true freshman last year, including a 35-yard touchdown against Pittsburgh.


WR Da'Mon Merkerson, #6: Da'Mon's parents took a relatively boring name in Damon and makes it about four times as great. I'm unsure about how Da'Mon is pronounced - it could still be pronounced like Damon - but I'll go ahead and assume it sounds like "Da Mon", or, how you would call someone "the man" if you were doing a really really inaccurate Jamaican accent.
Merkerson came to Syracuse as a wide receiver, but switched to cornerback for the beginning of last season, recording three tackles against NU, and then switching back to wide receiver by the end of the year, recording one touchdown reception.


And my endorsement in the name of the week election...


Long Snapper Maximilian Leo, #57: First off, that's just fun to say. But that aside, let's examine this name: Most of the time, the double first name is a bad indicator of a human's worth. (I'm looking at you, Greg Anthony!) But generally, these double first names are nothing like Maximilian Leo. Maximilian is one of the best names ever. According to the wikipedia, people named Maximilian generally have one of four professions: Emperor, preferably Holy Roman Emperor, martyr, Robespierre, or fictional character. Leo is thinking outside the box by being a long snapper. Most people with this name probably prefer to be called "Max", but these people are stupid. I didn't take Latin for very long, but I can tell you that Maximilian transfers from Latin to "greatest" and Leo translates from Latin to mean "lion". So this dude's name means greatest lion. GREATEST LION, YO. If I was named that, I'd maul people all the time, and I bet the reason Maximilian is a long snapper is because if he had a more contact oriented role, he'd just start uncontrollably mauling every mofo who got in his way, including teammates, referees, fans, and stray gazelles and wildebeests and stuff.


So those are the candidates. Vote early, choose wisely. I've made my preferences known, but I wouldn't be disappointed with any of the candidates winning, although I do feel it's a relatively weak slate, especially in comparison to the absolute doozy of Minnesota's names (which I just checked, and are absolutely off the hook.) So do it to it, and back your candidate in the comments section.

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